The years flow by, the time changes, the atmosphere brings a new scent to the surroundings of a heartfelt home in which families grow and become one from the very seed that was planted in the process of life.

Tree Hill never looked the same as it did now; the trees flowing with their azalea flowers blowing in the breeze, the cool crisp aroma of the river and it's surrounds of life that which inhabit it, everything was just the way it had been, beautiful at it's best.The only difference that could be brought out was the different storefronts that now stood from way back when, the new parking ramps that were added downtown for tourists and the most recent, the new dock that was now Riverwalk. Things hadn't changed so much in Tree Hill, but for Haley James her whole life had changed since the years of being kid were around and since she lived in this beautiful town she returned to call home.

The sunset was more than beautiful as Haley stood on the freshly remodeled dock of Riverwalk and the breeze was just perfect, the moment could have been just a romantic one of anyone's liking, but for her it was just a sense of memories that made their way back into her mind and heart. She had no idea if any of her same friends were here still or if they moved on to bigger and better lives, she had no idea if the man she once loved, or still loved was still here, in her mind she doubted it since his dreams carried themselves out to their fullest while she sat back and watched from afar. The pain of those memories hurt, but now she was back to face them and try to redeem what had happened in the past. Who knew though...it was all one step at a time until something new happened.

Okay, so I'm making this short but after talking to Brooke, I decided to send some pics to my journal from tour and of the babies! Enjoy everyone!

(  thanks for the memories )

Wow... it has been an extremely long time since I've updated on my journal. I actually kind of miss it. Tour is going great! We've been traveling all over the U.S in sudden appearances and shows and it's been so much fun! Nathan is actually liking the touring business and haha.. well let's say he wants to stay for a long time haha. The twins are getting so big! It's so surreal that they are almost two months old! I love them so much and hey.. they love traveling just like their dad. Nathan's been getting them into basketball games.. well Michael has been watching them on tv. I have a feeling.. Nate is going to want Michael to play ball when he gets older. Who knows.. we may have a future 'Nathan Scott' on our hands. ;)

Anyways... I miss everyone in Tree Hill soo much! I miss Lucas the most just because.. well he is my best friend. I miss Brooke alot and Peyton but we've seen them when we traveled to California for a show.. but I still miss them. Well, I should be off. I am tired and I have to rest before the next show. I'll talk to you all later. Call when you all get a chance. I miss you all.

Love & Peace,

Haley

Okay, I'm going to make this quick and short and I'll probably elaborate on it more later when I have more time. I have gotten the chance to go on tour again with Alex and his band Burton for Pres. I hesitated at first but with Nathan's insistance, I decided to go and Nathan and the twins are going with me. I have to say I'm excited. We leave in a hour.. but I still have to pack so I'll update later with more information. Wish us luck everyone!

-Haley

Ah, well it has been a while since I've updated this journal. Sorry for the delays but all of you are going to have to get used to it now. It has been about two weeks since I have become a mother of two beautiful little babies, Clara May Scott and Michael Keith Scott. I could not be any more grateful than to have them in my life now, along with Nathan. It's a blessing that they are here, and I have to say especially to Clara who I had complications with earlier in my pregnancy. I just want to thank god above for being with us through all this and for all our friends who have supported us. You've all been great.

I also want to say congratulations to Lucas and Karen on the birth of Lily Rose Scott who is one of the most beautiful little girls I've seen. I know that Keith would be so happy to see his little girl healthy as can be, right along with Karen. Remind me to come over and see her one of these days.

The after graduation party was a lot of fun, I might add, despite Nathan and I calling Deb half a dozen times to check on the babies. All of us girls did this crazy dance to the Spice Girls which I never thought I would do. I absolutely loved it. I think the most memorable part of that night was the Rivercourt. All of us together again, friends, family just being ourselves and cherishing the last few moments we have until we all return again. It's sad to see a lot of us go. Like with Peyton, I miss her a lot all ready and I'm sure Lucas misses her a whole lot more than I do... Tree Hill isn't the same without you Peyton! Come back soon!

Well, this entry is coming to an end. I would speak my mind of more that has been happening.. or the people or person I have come to lose respect for but at this time, my children are calling for me with their cries of hunger. I must go. See you next time. Until then, keep in touch.

Haley James Scott

I've been very distant from everyone lately. I hadn't noticed it before until I sat down today in the quad and looked around me. I looked at everyone talking to their peers and friends and I came to realize that I had isolated myself from everyone around me, well with the exception of Nathan. I'd like to apologize to everyone for not calling or stopping by. I've just been very distraught lately and worried about Nathan. A lot has happend since the press conference and it's just dragging him down. It breaks me up inside to see him the way he is. He won't talk to me about it... he doesn't want to talk about it. He wants to push the topic away. I don't know what else to do for him anymore. -sigh-

The babies are doing fine. It's almost time for my due date. I can't believe these nine months are almost over. Soon, we're going to be parents. I'm frightend. I don't know if Nathan knows, but I am. I don't want him to know I'm scared. I want him to focus on himself.. and not worry about me.

I guess this is an update for now. I think I might give you all a call. Feel free to stop over if you like. I'll be around.

Tonight should be one of the best nights of my life. It's Prom Night! For tonight, I want to be a teenager, not married, not pregnant. It's going to feel good going back for a night to the way everything was as a teenager. I'm looking forward to it. I hope to see everyone there!

Well as you see, Today's my Birthday. Yes, I, Haley James Scott was born on April 2nd 1988 which would make me 18 today! I'm finally legal. I can buy lottery tickets, I'm officially an adult, buy cigarettes (like I'd do that anyways)and drive past nine (actually I've been doing that.. =X). It feels good to be 18. You know what I just realized? I'm 18, married and pregnant. All at 18. It seems unbelieveable in a way because when I was younger, I always pictured myself being older...maybe in my twenties or later when I have kids, married in my twenties not in my teens, waiting for all this until after high school. Look at me now? All this is happening while I'm in high school. Oh well I guess. Life goes on. So! Did I mention it was my birthday? Yes. It's good to gloat that I'm now older than Nathan and it feels great. Oh.. and.. where are all my gifts? I mean a girl has to get some gifts right? Anytime would be great to bring them over...=P

So, everything is going fine with the babies. They are as healthy as ever. The doctor says that I may have them sometime in June. We don't know the date yet. That means Nathan and I definitely need to start getting the nursery around soon for the twins. I'm quite excited. Oh, I've been recording a little with Alex lately and it's been sounding good for fun singing. Nothing serious. I don't plan on pursuing my music career more than I already have since the babies are to be born. It doesn't bother me though. I'm happy with how my life is. Music will always be apart of it.. but if I'm not a singer.. that's okay because I'll still have Nathan and our babies. There's nothing better than that.

Well, I'm off. Nathan's whining about the laptop again. I'll be on later or so.

-Haley

You look upon the world, on the news and see all these kind of scandals with money or family and most of all, Sex. Sex scandals. They are all over Hollywood that we see and we laugh. Yeah, we find it funny with all these people but you never really think about what would happen if that sex scandal turned into your life. Now you're reading the entry pretty closely now huh? You feel like 'Well, that'd never happen to me, so whatever' and you shove off my words. I used to think the same...believed that something as ignoramic as that would achieve it's goal of entering my life, but it had.

We all know what happend at the Pre-Prom Party Wednesday night. I will not go further into details due to the fact that I don't want to bring up those memories, one memory that will forever be in my mind. All I can say is, the tape was uncalled for. 'Scandalous' as some people might say.It was something none of us should have seen. That night was horrible for me, completely horrible. To be honest and not to freak anybody out I was close to putting things to an end, but then I realize that it was a crazy decision and that I didn't just have me to think about, I had these two beautiful babies growing inside of me to think about also. Nathan knows the truth about my reasons for what I did that night. He knows now before hand because Lucas had told him. I'm not angry at Lucas, in such a way I should be.. but I'm not. In the long run, he did the right thing. One person I want to thank for being there and it means so much to me in the time of need...Chris. God, I don't know where to start. I know what I did was sprung on you..but I thank you for not flipping out...I want to thank you for supporting me, making sure that I was going to be safe. If Nathan heard your words in the bedroom....I'm pretty sure he'd think differently towards you. Chris, I know your feelings for me now. I'm not shocked, I'm not angry..I'm more relieved that I know the truth. Things won't change between us, I promise you that. Things will perhaps get better. Just know, I am always here if you need me.

There is one thought that still lingers in the back of my mind. I'm not saying it just to tell the whole world or tell people who don't know, but I need to get this off my chest. I know that Nathan has apologized for sleeping with Rachel, but...the thought of him doing that just hurts me. Yes, Nathan and I are together and happy, but, that...I know he has changed and for the better but from that information of that night, it brings me to know that the person that Nathan was last year, is still inside of him no matter how much he has changed. It's still there and that scares me a bit, brings down my trust for him a little bit. It's hard. I want to throw that thought of him being there with her out of my mind, but it won't seem to leave. Maybe I should see a pyschiatrist or hypnotist to get this out of my mind..soon enough I'm going to go crazy thinking about it..

This is it for now. I have an appointment for the twins soon. Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it when I'm through. Wish us luck.

So the big Pre-Prom party is tonight. Let's hope it doesn't get too out of hand like previous parties I've thrown or attended to. Let's play it all safe. Drink a little..well I can't.. bummer... watch a few movies, play a few games..you know..keep it safe. Oh and... NO SEX IN NATHAN'S BED THANK YOU! =P For all you sex phenes out there...

Anyways.. Tonight is about partying so do us all a favor... HAVE FUN! And.. don't drink and drive. It's the most dangerous thing out there. KEEP IT SAFE! =)

You think of a class assignment as mundane, worthless and a waste of everybody's time, right? Most people do, I guess. Well, except for me, but I must say that yesterday, our whole class had an assignment and well, it didn't turn out so boring at the end.

We were told to pick out of a hat names for who our partners would be. For some, awkward on who they recieved because of the exercise we had to do concerning labels on people. I wouldn't really label myself. I guess I'm all of the above..minus the 'friendly' criteria. So, out of the hat I picked Skills. After we all picked who we had, we had to spend fifty minutes with them and with a card that had certain questions or assignments on them. Skills and I headed up on the school roof to do our assignment. It was quite beautiful. The view I mean. Skills showed me the factory that his father worked at and he was afraid that he had a spot waiting for him in there alongside his father if he didn't get in to college. He showed me a letter he got from the college he applied to. He was afraid to open it so we left that to wait towards the end. We've talked like we haven't talked before and really caught up with our friendship. I really missed hanging out with Skills and I'm glad I had him as a partner. Towards the end, we sat on the steps and Skills asked me to open up his letter for him and read to him if he had made it or not. I was proud to say that Skills Taylor recieved a free ride to college. I'm so happy for him. He deserves the best.

So, a lot of people think that class assignments are mundane and worthless but you haven't acknowledged an assignment until you've had this one and trust me, it's worth it.

Have you ever wondered if the decision you were thinking about making was a good one? Or possibly be the cause of what may come of the future? Lately, I've been thinking of that exact concept. A lot has been going through my mind over the past couple weeks. Things have been good then hectic then good again or vice versa. Nathan and I have been fighting non-stop then making up non-stop...I guess it's a good thing. The making up part but the fighting... it's getting worse as it continues. I'm been really stressed lately or emotionally unstable. Maybe that's just the hormones. If that's the case, I hate it. I've been doing a lot lately also.
Besides school, recording with Chris has been..well really time consuming. We both want to make sure this song is really finished and sounding good but it's been taking up so much time that I've been getting home late. A few times, I've come home around one am and each time, Nathan hadn't been very happy which led to fights and more fights. I guess I don't blame him because he wants to spend time with me, but we're with each other all the time. Not like I don't like it, I love it when we spend time together but there are some things I need to do also. -sigh-
You know how when one thing happens, like one huge thing happens and it leads to other smaller or bigger things? You think you get a note and it's just a prank, nothing will come of it. You shrug it off and pretend it's nothing. The next thing is a surprise gift you recieve from someone you have no idea who it is. You don't worry about it until a face comes into play, a person you never thought could know you...a person dangerous than the man before. Someone who won't stop until his target is reached. You think about it and it makes you wonder that because one man is dead because of yourself, his posse would come after you for revenge...possibly succeeding this time around. I feel as if our lives are in danger...
The other night was the one of the most frightening of my life. Yet again, Nathan and I were arguing about the same as I spoke of earlier and I said some pretty bad things and I basically locked Nathan out of the house which would have been the biggest mistake of my life if anything happend to him. I laid down and not only a few moments later, there was gunfire outside the apartment. Nathan had said that there was some earlier but I didn't believe him, not until that moment. The moment I heard it, the window shatter and the bullet wizz past the spot where I had laid, I feared for mine and our babies lives. I hid behind the couch. I thought about Nathan and if he was all right, but I was afraid to move until Nathan was by my side. Cut up and bleeding. He had climbed through the window to make sure I was safe...I loved him so much for it but I was worried about his cuts. That's when I decided to tell him....
Earlier that day I had a sonogram of my pregnancy; it went well and not so well. The first thing I had to tell him was....we weren't just having one little baby...we're having two. Right along with Michael, we're having a little girl. Nathan, god he was so thrilled and excited. He still is. His excitement brings me hope. There are problems though with her. She's dangerously small. She's smaller than Michael and growing slowly. The doctor informed me that she may not be ready when it is time for Michael and her to be born. He also stating that she may not make it through the pregnancy. You don't know how much that scares me. It frightens me to death. Losing a child is something you can never forget, something you know you won't be able to live with. It's something that you will feel that is your fault for the rest of your life. God, I don't want to live with that feeling... -sigh again-
I think I will get off here for now. It's 3:24 AM. Nathan and I are still up and for right now, I want to just cuddle in his arms and not move for the longest time. I did steal the laptop from him again so, that will make up for it. Also, below will be a picture of the sonogram that was given to me. It's a picture I will tresure forever. Anyways, I wish you all the best for today and on. Have a wonderful morning.

( Sonogram )

Some sort of random post I'll be most likely writing in here along with some updates that everyone can know about. It's the twenty-ninth of January and I'm laying here in Nathan's old room at the beach house. Yes, sort of a long story, sort of not. I'll get to that a bit later.

Last week, Skills and Mouth decided to pull a job for Nathan in a strip club, stripping of course. I had no idea of this incident until Peyton dragged me out of the apartment and brought me there. I was quite surprised but I was rooting him on, flashing the money that I had on me so show support. I have to admit, it reminded me a lot of what happend last year at the charity auction. That was quite amazing. This time, the guys had taught Nathan a dance to strip to. I still wonder how they got that down since well... sorry Nathan but you suck at dancing. =P After we got home, Nathan brought out this box which I had no idea what it was until after I opened it. It seems like Nathan took the money he earned and bought a Prom dress for me. I didn't even know there were any dresses that could fit me since well, I'm pregnant and none of my other dresses fit me anymore. Nathan found one. There are maternity prom dresses out there in the world. It's completely beautiful and I love it.

On other topics, Nathan recieved the call earlier last week about his mom. She had attempted suicide and I'm assuming with her pills. It's so sad that her condition had led her to that. I don't feel guilty about pushing her away when she was in her moods, but Nathan does. He feels that he was part of the reason. Mrs. Scott has been going through this addiction for quite sometime now and we never really knew until it overboarded. All I wish for is that she gets better and well and fights this acciction. She is a wonderful woman and I know she is strong to get through this.

Thursday I recieved a very strange and threatening note inside my locker. To this day, Nathan and I don't know who did it but Nathan went to his father about it and he's looking into who could of sent it. It's rather creepy. To top all things, the next day, I recieved a cell phone in my locker as a gift. Nathan thinks it was from the same person who left me the other note. I personally thought it was just someone being nice. I mean, the phone is incredible! I used it a couple times then Nathan got extremely mad and took it away. I guess he's just trying to protect me but sometimes I get sick of him trying to always be there. I need space sometimes you know? Anyways....

If all of you wanted to know what happend with Nathan and I, well... we had a three day vacation at Nathan's beach house. It has been the most wonderful three days of my life. So I don't go into details, we outbeat Noah and Allie from the Notebook. ;) You know, in a way.. I hope we haven't made another little bundle to look forward to but if we did.. it'd be just as wonderful as Michael Keith. I just love having days like this. Just with Nathan and I. Right now, everything is just perfect. Nothing could ruin how I feel right now.

Well, Nathan and I want to spend some more time with each other and possibly baby shopping for Michael. Right now, I need a shower and such. If you want to get ahold of Nathan or myself, just call our cell phones. If we don't answer right away.. we're busy ;) Have a good night everyone!

-Haley

Most of you think that Nathan and I were going to get a divorce. Most of you heard that it was me that said I wanted a divorce. I'm not going to lie. I indeed said that. It was the most irresponsible wording I have ever said. I was angry, upset, emotional that words were spilling out without meaning them. I wasn't the only one. I do regret saying that and sometimes I could kick myself for even thinking of it. Angry or not, those were words I had no right to say. I didn't mean them and I will never say them ever again. Nathan and I are not getting a divorce. I am so thankful for that.
Going back to school has never felt so vigorating in my life. Truth be told, I missed it very much. I missed the smell of freshly sharpened pencils or overly long lectures from Mr. Kelley. I missed the reading of the pledge every morning during homeroom. It felt so good to be back, although I was piled with alot of make-up work and tests to get back on track. I must say, I've finished most of it, including the homework they've been giving me now. I used to think that I was never going to get it done, but now that it's half finished, I proved myself wrong. Luckily, so far, all we've been doing in classes is taking notes off of powerpoints and just writing down anything the teachers said. Speaking on taking notes, the other day in English, Peyton and I sat next to each other like usual and instead of taking notes, we were actually talking about other things. Relationships, how Gigi broke up with Mouth, [I feel really bad for him] how Peyton and I decided we're going to find someone that won't break his heart because I'm pretty sure he's had enough. He's been hurt so much, nobody deserves that. I guess we made it that far until one of my giggles caught Mr. Kelley and he yelled at us for talking. He asked Peyton what exactly he was talking about and lucky for her, she came up with an answer that stunned him. Peyton Sawyer, you have the power to stun teachers speechless! -High Fives-
The rest of the day went smoothly, except for something I found in my locker. It was close to the end of the day and on my usual routine, I stop at my locker to exchange books for my last class. As I was doing so, I found this note. Someone stuck it in my locker. It wasn't a kind note. It was threatening of me and my baby. I have no idea who wrote it or sent it, but it's left me worried. I showed Nathan that day and he's going to get Mr. Scott in on it. I do hope it's nothing serious. Just a prank someone pulled, trying to be funny.
So, the past couple days, I've been sick. Extremely sick and not motion sickness. Some kind of bug trapped itself inside me and won't exit properly. Yesterday, I recall Nathan and Peyton taking me to the hospital because my temperature was one hundred and eight degrees and close to death. I shudder at that word. I shudder at the thought. I'm okay now and the baby is fine also. He's getting bigger every moment he is inside of me.
Well, Nathan wants his computer back since I stole it again and hogged it for about three hours. He's not very happy about that. =P S, I'm off. Have a good night and stay safe.

:: Haley James Scott ::

I am so infuriated! I've been angry before but this takes the cake and you know why? Because of Rachel. I hate how she likes to assume things and not get the facts or how she can't just shut her face when something doesn't go her way. I never thought I would have so much hate towards a person becaise I'm a pretty nice person, I try to get along with everyone but her.. I just can't stand. So, yeah.... Nathan wants to hang out with her. I don't like it but I know I'm going to have to deal with it just like Nathan has to with me hanging out with Chris which reminds me, Chris and I are friends again. I stood up to Nathan and told him I was going to be friends with him no matter how much he hated it.. so in a way Nathan can be friends with Rachel and say the same thing.. same situation, different people. Anyways... I'm still angry! but I will move on from that sour topic.
Since Chris and I are friends again, we're going to be working on music again and possibly working on a duet this weekend in the studio. Yes, I told Nathan if you're all wondering and he was supportive of me which I'm grateful for. I came up with the idea of the duet and the song I picked is called 'In Another's Eyes' originally recorded by Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood. It's a really good song and Chris said he'd look into it. I'm excited for it. I performed the song to Nathan on my guitar that I got out today and he liked it. I promised him I would let him listen to it when it was done and recorded. So technically we're supposed to be out to dinner, but we had to drive all the way back home because Nathan forgot his wallet in his other pants. Smart Move sweetie. So now while he looks for it- and he's found it- I'm on here which I'm getting off now. Peace and Love.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Palyer, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting.

( My Soundtrack )

I think the phrase, "There is no place like home" applies for me right now. For us, actually considering Nathan hasn't been at home in weeks either. I have to say that it feels wonderful to finally be in our apartment again and smelling the fresh aroma of the flower scents giving off from every room. I'd never thought I'd see this place again. If you haven't gotten it yet, yes, I am home from the hospital. I was released yesterday morning and Nathan and I tried our best to walk out, but decided we wanted to run. Not literally since I do have a injured leg. There's no news on Lucas yet and I haven't seen him since the accident happend. But I hear he's doing okay. I don't know when he's getting out but I hope it's soon.

God, it feels like it's been forever since I've updated my journal. Almost feel like I have neglected it, but that I couldn't help. Maybe, this entry will make up for it. I do not know how long it will be, but I'm sure it will be worth it. All my words will have meaning and somewhat accuracy in them also. I see that Peyton and Nathan have both updating in their journals. I left a comment in Nathan's I'm pretty sure. You know, sometimes Nathan and I have more conversations through our journals then through us talking in person. Is that...a bit wrong? Maybe the internet interacts more and causes more feeling then if talking in person. I ponder at that for a moment.

Friends. I never really thought that word could do so much harm to someone. Could make a person jealous or angry or maybe just apathetic. I haven't had many friends in my life, but I always treasure the ones I have and try to make new ones. I've learned that choosing a friend over the person that you love can be the biggest mistake of your life. At least for me it was in the past. For some of you, it's probably the other way around. You're probably regretting choosing the one you love over your best friend even if you say or seem like you are happy. Have you ever thought about it to yourself? Or maybe you are that best friend, are you really happy for your friend or is it just an act? There is so much more meaning to the word 'friends'. After having a heated argument with Nathan, I realized that I may have to lose a friend of mine that I do indeed care about. As I sit here typing, I contemplate it. It hurts to lose a friend no matter what they have done in the past but maybe I feel like I must do this. It's going to hurt the both of us....especially him. I'm scared, really. We've been through so much and even though it seems like he may have been the reason for the dysfunction in mine and Nathan's marriage, he was actually one of the people that help put it back together. *sighs and ponders once more* Maybe.. I have to do this...

Schoolwork. Seeing that word makes me want to throw up what I ate this morning. The one thing I'm stressing over the most is how I am going to make up all the missing work from all my classes. I know I am far behind. Between school and physical therapy, I won't have any time to do anything else. *pulls hair out* Oh well I guess. It's what I get for being in the hospital.

Gee, I guess this is a long entry. I think I'll leave it at this and maybe update later. I have some things to do.... Peave and love to you all.

-Haley James Scott